Lonley dating site
Lonley dating site
I specialize in counseling wives of sex addicts, and I often see women who haven’t told anyone about their husband’s addiction, sometimes for months or even years.
The reasons for this are numerous and include the shame associated with this addiction for both the addict and the spouse, the sense of betrayal, and stereotypes linked to the addiction.
At the height of his addiction, nothing, not even the risk of losing his job or his marriage, is enough to stop him.
This explains how a politician or celebrity can make such risky, career-destroying moves without stopping to consider the consequences.
While a porn addict desperately craves love and intimacy (something he is probably unaware of), he seeks it out in the exact place that will cause him to become less and less able to experience it.
As I hear sexual addicts talk about their past, it becomes apparent why they are so uncomfortable with the idea of intimacy.
He stated, They reported increasing difficulty in being turned on by their actual sexual partners, spouses, or girlfriends, though they still considered them objectively attractive.
When I asked if this phenomenon had any relationship to viewing pornography, they answered that it initially helped them get more excited during sex but over time had the opposite effect.That’s some heavyweight Future Faking with an even heavier does of denial, rationalising, and minimising.You may be thinking “Oh but they said it so they surely must have intended it” or “People who don’t love you or don’t want a relationship don’t talk like they’re in a relationship” or “They must say this stuff because they intend to do it and then it must be something about me that’s making them not do it so if I love them enough and become a loveable person then they’ll finally come up with the goods”.Pornography presents an unrealistic reality that damages a person’s brain.They become engrossed in this fantasy world where they don’t have to worry about pleasing anyone but themselves and no emotional connection is required.“Tell me about the type of relationship we’re going to have, the things you would do, where you would take me and then tell me all the excuses for why you won’t do any of those things and then reel me in again with some more Future Faking…” I know I’ve said this many times but if actions and words don’t match, you’ve got problems. When someone is a person of integrity, they act like they’re in a relationship and talk they’re in a relationship because they think like they’re in a relationship.