Graduate school dating

11-Jan-2020 12:54 by 2 Comments

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Yes, I did not misspell, 2, two, numero dos, people, per week. Compared to other people, I feel that I have some sort of additional understanding.

Sure, I came from a technical school in which social life was limited, but it was not until graduate school that it really hit me. student in a STEM field (which adds its own complications).

Nerds are not normal, graduate students are not normal, I am not normal, and there is nothing normal about the dating scene in graduate school. I came to graduate school with a long term relationship with a guy much younger than me - yes, craddle robber, cougar, I’ve heard it all. I was lonely, devastated, disappointed, heartbroken, and disillusioned beyond imagination.

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I do believe in being single, finding yourself, and independence.

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Whether you were aware of it, or not, choosing to go to graduate school was much like signing a contract with the devil opting out of having a personal life. But what you might have not been aware of, or, at least, what I was not aware of, is that there is such a thing as “grad school life,” or lack thereof.

I want to be educated beyond college, advance my career, win a Nobel Prize, stop global warming, etc.

B and I were “extremely happy.” He was still in college while I was in graduate school. I was broken up with a week before my birthday and a couple of days before a very long and important report was due. I do not kid when I say that there were tears on my report. At first, I was in denial, then anger, then acceptance, and slowly passed through all of the stages of moving on. In all honesty, at first I just wanted a guy to rebound with.

(I would like to point out something really important here: in grad school, all your friends are either desperately single, in long term relationships, or engaged/married; in college, people hook up, and lose their virginities; it is crazy how one summer can change it all). I would run to the bathroom while still having contaminated gloves so people wouldn’t catch my over dramatic sob. What stood out the most was my initial reaction to “eligible” bachelors. It was not that there was anything wrong with these guys (kind of), it was that I couldn’t see myself dating any of them because I was still in love with my ex. As time passed, and I was slowly but surely moving on, my opinion of the market did not change. Just someone to have fun with, go to the beach, get brunch, watch The Notebook, cry with, forget about B, and have someone to sleep with/next to.

This is for them, because, I want these girls to know that it is not them, it is just the life of a single grad this is not a sad story.

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