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Just 41% of Americans said children are "very important" to a successful marriage. Today, resources for the voluntarily child-free abound. Most people, like myself, who decided early not to have kids, acknowledged an absence of desire.Support sources include social networking groups, like Childfree Meetup; web sites, such as nokidding.net; and books, including Families of Two: Interviews With Happily Married Couples Without Children by Choice. Speaking for myself, parenthood seemed too important or daunting an endeavor to go into without enthusiasm or desire." The reasons child-free couples give for not having children are as varied as the couples themselves.
Research done by the web site No Kidding bears this out: 62% of surveyed couples had concerns.
"Knowing that I may never have kids, I didn't quite know how to answer them without disappointing them or making them defensive.
So I googled the subject matter, and found there were many groups of child-free people in my same boat, dealing with a myriad of child-free issues." In her book The Childless Revolution, author Madelyn Cain echoes Walters' sentiments.
"When couples are forthright and have a lot of interesting things going on in their life, people experience that positive energy from them." Cynthia Mc Kay is the CEO of her own gourmet gift basket business; her husband, Paul Gomez, is the assistant attorney general for Colorado. They are up-front about their decision to remain child-free.
"Most people say that we are the type of people who would be the best kind of parents," Mc Kay tells Web MD.
Laura Scott of Roanoke, Va., was motivated to create the Childless by Choice project to test commonly held assumptions about the child-free. For many, the biological clock never ticked and they lack a strong urge to parent.
Her self-described "research project" has ballooned into a book and documentary based on a survey of North American child-free couples, historians, and social scientists. Numerous couples cite the financial restrictions, the childcare challenges, and the time constraints of parenting."I am aware of [some women] who just don't mention they are child-free in mixed company." In an ideal world, both partners would be in agreement on the issue of having -- or not having -- children.Some couples, like Mc Kay and Gomez, discussed the possibility at length early in their relationship and agreed not to delve into parenthood."One of my interviewees called parenthood a 'checklist' item," Scott tells Web MD. Some opt out of child rearing due to environmental, political, and overpopulation concerns.Others endured abusive childhoods and are too bruised to parent.We disagree." "I tell people that we are very comfortable with our decision not to have kids and have no regrets," Gomez adds. We direct our energies elsewhere, such as animal-rights causes and politics." Barbara Fisher, a licensed professional counselor in Atlanta, says that for some, the choice not to have children is spiritual.