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This clearly communicates the expectation and the consequence, without a threat.

I realize that using Play Therapy based language is a learned and practiced skill that requires time and effort, so I thought it would be helpful to share ten commonly used phrases parents say to their kids.

You can always rephrase the sentence from a negative to a positive, which will correct the behavior without sounding critical.

Train yourself to say what you want them to do instead of what you don’t. Notice the common element is starting with the word “you” and then acknowledging what they worked at, rather than what you think about it.

We often try to teach lesson to kids about life at the most inappropriate times.

If a child gets hurt because they were doing something dangerous or inappropriate, they already learned their lesson.

Either way, the child is allowed to express their thoughts or concerns and feel validated without an argument. First, it creates anxiety and fear in the child, especially of the person who you are going to tell about whatever happened.

Second, it ignores your responsibility to deal with the issue at hand and passes it to someone else.I will also give the Play Therapy based alternative with a short explanation of why it is more effective.Kids hear the word “no” far too frequently (Read more about that here).Choose whether the other person really needs to know about the issue, and if yes, let the child decide who will tell them.“Do you choose to tell (Mom) what happened, or choose for me to tell her with you there to make sure that I explain it correctly?By the time a child has gotten in trouble for something, they already feel guilty, sorry and embarrassed about it.